A Mom's First Solo Staycation
A Mom’s First Solo Staycation
We both agreed, the key to remaining sane this year was a brief respite from reality whenever possible. I knew I had to escape BEFORE I felt like I was circling the drain. It had been the most grueling eight months to be a mom of school-aged children. Sure I was a personal chef and housekeeper as usual, but now I had become a Montessori pre-K, second grade, AND FIFTH GRADE teacher!!! All at once. Every damn day. Yes, I knew it was impossible to manage the emotions of 2020 on every single developmental level in the house. Yes, I knew that everyone was flailing and failing at distance learning, not just me. So did I deserve this break? Plenty of moms didn’t have as much help as I do, with an awesome (albeit opinionated and emotionally high maintenance) network of family to support me right in my own tiny neighborhood. Plenty of people were in the worst financial stress of their lives, could I justify a weekend away just for a small slice of peace and quiet? All of the guilt-ridden feelings swarmed my brain. So I called on my guru of solo travel-in-style for advice. After our chat, I imagined myself all alone with no one whining “mommy” for two days straight, and that was that. I knew I had to go.
It was the first time traveling solo in my entire 40 years of life! I booked a tiny house Airbnb ninety minutes out of town, got an Erykah Badu heavy Spotify playlist from one of my girls, and busted the heck out! Would I be bored and lonely? Would I feel disconnected or uncomfortable? Would I even have fun?
The answer, as you may have already guessed was simple. Hell fucking yes! I deserved and needed that time to myself, and it was glorious! Being alone was not lonely, it was an all damn day long underpants dance party! It was a two-hour hike in the tranquility of nature. It was charcuterie and champagne for dinner followed by Netflix and absolute chill. I spent an hour on FaceTime with a dear, old friend that I hadn’t spoken to in forever. I listened to my girlfriend’s playlist and celebrated total freedom! I connected deeply with myself aka smoked a joint and masturbated in the middle of the day. Who knew solo sex could be so uplifting? Oh yeah, that’s right, I did!
I returned home a mear forty hours later, fully revived and with a renewed sense of gratitude for my family. The idea of the week ahead actually didn’t make me want to cringe. I had finally cared for myself and the energy was radiating!! Even the tweenager acknowledged me by stating, “mom you look slightly less haggard”. Wow! Gee, thanks number one womb goblin. Can’t wait to ditch you and the rest of these penis grabbers again sometime in the very near future! I just have to find a place with a far less friendly and talkative host next time.
